You agreed to "send the website owners huge amounts of cash for the next 12 years" -- don't worry we won't hold you to it! ;)

You agreed to "take out our trash on Wednesdays." 

You agreed to "publicly admit that you were in fact the 2nd gunman on the grass knoll. "

You agreed to some wild terms about the creative assets you create (which isn't too far from the rights that many social media companies take from you).

You agreed to "always bring pumpkin pie to our Thanksgiving dinners and let us take credit for it." 

You agreed to let us take all the data from every website you've ever visited, every email you've ever sent, and agreed to let us sell that data to anyone we want, including shady companies like Uber.

You agreed to let us never call you on your birthday but agreed to always call us on our birthdays.

Whenever you share some food with us, like a big steak, you agreed to give us the bigger half.

You agreed to never have parents or children and that if you had either, you would pay us large sums of money. Whoops. Again.. good thing this is not a real company or TOS..

You agreed to share this website on social media to teach your friends about how a website Terms of Service works, and why we shouldn't quickly agree to them.